I live on a lake and there is nothing more enjoyable to me than sharing it with others. You might be wondering how this relates to my quantum leap - keep reading.
One of the ways to do this is to take people for a leisurely boat ride with the wind in their hair, great food, and drink, and enjoy one another’s company. You get the picture, right? And I have the perfect boat for it. It seats up to 16 people - think of it like a giant convertible. But I have one problem - docking the boat!
I’ve lived on this lake for 20 years and have docked it maybe 10 times. So needless to say, I have to rely on someone else if I want to go out on the boat, usually my husband.
I’ve recently said I want to host Lunch on the Lake on Fridays throughout the summer and in order to do that, I need to be able to bring my guests back to the dock safe and sound, without having to jump in the water to pull the boat in! (OK I’m exaggerating a bit, but that is what it feels like…)
So now, all I need to do is conquer my inability to dock the boat smoothly - a quantum leap easier said than done.
Practice was needed so I took the boat out by myself, and enjoyed being behind the wheel with the wind in my hair. When it came time to dock it, I was doing so badly that my neighbor came down to rescue me. I said, “Jack, don’t help me I have to do this myself,” as he watched me franticly turn the wheel left, right, and left again. He said, “do you want me to leave?” To which I said “No!” and he helped pull me in. Embarrassed and disappointed, I fretted about how I was ever going to do this with a bunch of people on the boat!
Next, I did what I always do when confronted with a dilemma: I journaled it and debriefed what had happened (this is my version of replaying the “game film” after a bad loss).
After listening to numerous people, watching YouTube videos, reading all the “how to dock your pontoon" advice I could find, and studying the ‘experts,’ I figured that I could do what they did and be successful.
What I learned was:
I discovered that ‘learning’ isn’t the same as taking action. Obviously, what I need to do is apply all this learning by taking the boat out and practicing docking it again and again and again until I obtain confidence and competence.
But here is the big AHA- we also have to allow time and space for the 3 Ds - disappointment, disillusionment, and discouragement, which seep in when we aren’t yet able to do it “right.”
This was HUGE!! Not the practicing part - that’s a given - but allowing for the 3 Ds when we don’t produce the intended outcome in the timeframe we want.
I realized that all my angst and anxiety came when I expected too much, too soon. We live in an instant gratification world and want results right now. We compare ourselves to our perception of others (more on this in another blog), and when we don’t measure up to the inflated standard, we veer and/or give up. We don’t play the long game.
When I practiced with the understanding that I will make mistakes, I laughed them off, learned from them, and did much better. When I expected perfection, I walked away disappointed, disillusioned, and discouraged. I even considered canceling the luncheons or at least eliminating the boat ride part.
Staying with this commitment and being willing to be comfortable with the uncomfortable is a bridge to my quantum leap, and it will lead to bigger and better challenges to take on.
The Key Point is this: we all need to allow time and space for the 3 Ds when we don’t get the results we want in the timeframe we want. Joining a Playing to Win Team can help you incorporate this mindset into your everyday life.
Hang in there, get some support, join a community of others who will encourage you when you are down, and maybe, like my neighbor Jack, will throw you a line when you need it!
Question: Would you like to join us for Lunch on the Lake and continue this conversation on my boat this summer? I look forward to docking it successfully!