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Are You Playing to Win?
Or Playing Not to Lose?

Overcoming Objections: A Merry-Go-Round

In last week’s blog, I talked about a client who asked me to teach his people Objection Handling, a highly successful program I’ve taught that helps with overcoming objections when things get hard. I mentioned how it has evolved, matured, and morphed into psychologically discovering where the prospect goes and where we go when hitting an objection or resistance and understanding why.

This week, let’s unpack psychologically where the prospect goes, (and where we go) when we encounter objections. I’ve observed that there are 4 stages we go through when hit with resistance.

Let’s take a common objection like: “It costs too much:”

Stage 1: Explain or Justify the Situation
  • Salesperson: “I understand, but everything costs more to make these days because of inflation.”
  • Prospect resists or pushes back …. which leads to:
Stage 2: Defend the Situation
  • Salesperson: “It cost this much because we can’t produce as many as we used to due to supply chain issues.”
  • Prospect resists again …. now it escalates to:
Stage 3: Lay Blame
  • Salesperson: “I wish I could sell it to you for less but my company won’t let me.”
  • Prospect continues to resist and push back …. and we move to:
Stage 4: Give Up or Cycle Back
At this point, the prospect either throws her hands up in frustration and walks away or cycles back to Stage 1 and continues going round and round in circles.

The 4 stages happen on autopilot to BOTH parties, often unaware of the process as it unfolds. The salesperson explains and justifies, and the prospect digs in and does the same; then one of them moves to defend their position because they aren’t winning them over to our way of thinking.

Getting defensive only adds fuel to the fire as more “Yeah buts” pop up, and we either circle back to explain/justify/defend or escalate to laying blame, “I can’t because…. won’t let me.”

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This merry-go-round doesn’t usually have a happy ending and sooner or later, one or both parties give up and go their separate ways.

The reason I bring this to the table is to have us recognize the psychological stages we and our prospects go through when overcoming objections. Awareness is the first step to change.

FYI: this happens in our personal lives as well as our work lives - think about the last pushback you got from a family member, and look to see where you both went through these stages. Next week, we will look at understanding why we go through these stages. In the meantime, learn more about Playing to Win here.