When I was removing everything from my kitchen in preparation for the remodel, I found disorder - all sorts of things I was holding on to that I no longer use. The dirt and dust they were collecting made me feel bad. Some were given away, but more was kept, heaped into boxes, and temporarily stored upstairs. Honestly, it all began to feel like clutter!!
Then I was hit with an overwhelming physical manifestation of all the “clutter” - dusty, unused things and thoughts I’ve wanted to do something with that are running around in:
Every nook and cranny of my existence!
My 1st reaction was to pitch and purge things because I’m embarrassed and want to get rid of them vs. continue to hide them. But truth be told:
I just don’t want to decide what to do with it!
Why?
Deciding feels difficult, which makes me want to VEER and go start something else which only adds more disorder. Ironic, isn’t it? Such a vicious circle. Somehow deciding feels like I’m limiting my options: if I do this, then I can’t do that.
For example, if the silverware goes in the top drawer on the left then there are 6 other drawers it can’t go in. And what if that was not the “right” decision? And yes, I know I can always move it.
Reflective Thoughts:
This isn’t really isn’t about the silverware, is it? No, it’s about feeling that decisions are limiting, and it could be the “wrong” decision. Indecisions are incompletions. Yet, not making a decision is making a decision! And adds to the Clutter!!!
Does anyone else ever feel this way?
Even writing this feels uncomfortable and confronting. Oh wow, another fricking growth opportunity! And more to discover…