Stop! In The Name Of Love...
Recently I had guests over for dinner and I asked each of them, “What was a memorable event in your life?” The answers varied from spending a week caring for elephants in Thailand, performing for Pope John Paul II, to riding over 6,000 on a Harley throughout Canada. The question then flipped to me. I told the story of the night I got to be a Supreme backup singer (you know - The Supremes - the Motown group from the sixties?)
Let me back up a bit. Typically, I am not your typical trailblazer, the first one to take on a challenge or jump at an opportunity. I’m the 2nd one! (And never the last, lest I lose my nerve!!) I’ve done some courageous, crazy things in my life, following the trailblazer. I’ve also missed out on some pretty amazing opportunities.
Several years ago, my husband and I attended the Motor City Bowl (one of the countless college bowl games) with some friends, who were cheering on their alma mater, Minnesota. I am a huge fan of PJ Fleck, Minnesota’s coach. Minnesota won the game, and people started to storm the field. My husband and I left thinking we’d never be able to get on the field. The next day, our friends, who had celebrated on the 50-yard line, shared a picture standing next to Fleck, who was holding the trophy.
Why did we leave? FUD - fear, uncertainty, and doubt. I was afraid that we’d get to the edge of the field and security would rebuff us, that we were breaking protocol, that we would be rule-breakers. I missed an incredible opportunity to meet someone I admired and to create a moment and memory that is story-worthy because I was afraid of the unknown.
Now fast forward, another opportunity, a different outcome.
I shouldn’t have been there. The Great Lakes Women’s Business Council’s awards event was scheduled for the same night I had had surgery. I wasn’t planning to attend and was still kind of out of it. That being said, I knew that being around others would energize me AND there would be people there I wanted to see.
There were about 250 - 300 people in attendance. I was having a great time networking and sitting with friends and clients. All of a sudden, Mary Wilson, a Supreme, came down the center aisle singing one Motown hit after another. The place went nuts! Many of us jumped out of our seats, singing, dancing, and rocking it out!
Then Mary said, “Ladies, I know many of you used to hold up your hairbrush like it was a microphone (fess up - you did, too!) and sing along to the songs of the Supremes. Well, here’s your chance to do so for real. I invite some of you to come up and join me on stage right now and be my backup singers!”
The women at my table started yelling, “Denise, go up there!”
I really wanted to but FUD kicked in again. I started thinking, “I don’t sing very well; what if I don’t know the words; will security push us back?” These thoughts are swirling in my head, holding me to my seat. I was stuck in place.
We want to be bold, then rational thinking kicks in - will we be rejected, look and feel like a fool, be laughed at, or scorned? Those are powerful, paralyzing emotions. It’s human nature to protect ourselves from those uncomfortable feelings.
Suddenly, my client, Donna, grabbed her phone and was my trailblazer! I eagerly followed her down the aisle and up on stage.
What a thrill! I still get goosebumps thinking about it! There must have been at least twenty of us up there singing and dancing to Stop! In The Name Of Love.
I was especially impressed with the moxie of my client, Donna Russell Kuhr, President/ CEO of PTM Corp. I watched her work her way through the entire on-stage crowd to put her arm around Mary and have a picture taken of them singing together. Amazing!
And to think I might have succumbed to my fear, uncertainty, and doubt and missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be a Supreme! I really, really wanted to be on stage with Mary Wilson. I would have missed my chance had someone not come alongside me and said, “Let’s go together!”
Why did I make a different choice than I did at the Motor City Bowl? Having support, encouragement, and a nudge from someone I trusted made a huge difference and helped me be a Supreme that night.
When Donna started toward the stage to sing as a Supreme, I realized that we were in this together, that I was not alone in my FUD, that I was braver and bolder because I was part of something outside of myself. THAT, is why I am creating my school of transformation - so we can support and encourage one another and journey forward together!
The moral of this story? Take a chance. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Don’t let “I’ll look dumb” keep you from doing things that are exhilarating. Replace feelings of regret and missed opportunities with the amazing feelings that come with accomplishing and experiencing.
So here is a question; When have you really, really wanted to do something, hesitated, and would have missed your moment had not someone given you, support, encouragement, or a little nudge?
My mantra?
Don’t let doubt take you out! More to come - stay tuned!
