Unhooking from pain and criticism and what gets in our way is key to building resiliency. Here are my thoughts.
Hello everybody! It's Denise Roberts with an update on our Resiliency Training. The program was created to help us as we are going through the predictable Emotional Cycle of Change. So, if you think about it anytime you want to make a change you will go through ups and downs - optimism, pessimism, and even all the way down to despair.
This is the problem. This is where most of us let it take us out. We veer and we play smaller and we say "This isn't really what I want," "I'll try something else." We really give up on our dream.
The idea of Resiliency Training is to not let doubt take you out. So, this week what we touched on was unhooking from pain and criticism. We have them all look at a time when they receive some criticism or negative feedback and we talked about how to reframe it - how to look at it from the feedback is really saying more about the person who gave you the feedback than it is you. So, not to personalize it but to understand it.
Then the other thing we had them look at is whether this person is really relevant to what you're pursuing? Because oftentimes that criticism might come way back in our careers or in our lives and it really has nothing to do with who and what we are right now. If you hang on to it you will start to think that you can't do something. That was the big takeaway from today.
I pose this question to everyone: I ask them, "As you go for a goal and you don't achieve it, what typically have you found got in your way?" I'm going to ask you that as well. What got in your way? If you said "you," look underneath that. Next week I'll tell you my belief about what gets in the way.
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