I’ve studied performance improvement and high-performers in business and sports for years and tried to apply their techniques to myself only to come up short time and time again. I try to force myself to do the things I don’t wanna, and sometimes I win, but I can’t seem to sustain that and then I feel bad about myself and back slide, can you relate (See Winning vs. Losing: Using Beliefs to Drive Results)
I’ve joined and created accountability groups that meet weekly and some even daily! I’ve made commitments to make more calls, eat better, work out more and do things I feel terrified doing, like docking a big badass pontoon boat!
Don’t get me wrong, all of those calls, diets, workouts, and even docking the pontoon led to new clients, smaller dress sizes, and lunches at the lake; however it was full of struggle.
But; what if I did all those things because they were enjoyable rather than what I thought I should do? What if the actions taken came from Fun vs. Obligation? In her book, “This Year I Will,” M.J. Ryan says we have different brains and that they are at odds with each other. We have:
- Emotional brain: understands pleasant or safety, fight/flight/freeze
- Thinking brain: reasoning and logical
- The thinking brain is where we decide we want to do something different but, depending on what it is OR how it’s presented, our emotional brain may not cooperate. Why? Because the emotional brain is always scanning for pleasure or safety; this is why often we end up sabotaging ourselves.
To win this battle and join high-performers, Ryan says you’ve got to get your emotional brain on your side by engaging your feelings. If what you want feels too, scary, hard, or no fun, the emotional brain will override it. So, what we need to do is create the goal as something Fun, Easy, New & Different. (FEND)
That is why this year I am launching and co-leading a new 12-week Playing to Win Together Team for women only, centered around keeping our New Year’s Resolutions. (FYI - National Quitters Day is on January 13th this year and we choose NOT to be part of it!) One of the reasons we fail is that we’re alone, on our own. The Team is a supportive group of like-minded high-performers who urge you on when it feels hard. We’ll focus on cooperating with our emotional brain and setting ourselves up for success by framing our goals in the FEND format.
Over the next 12 weekly blogs, I will be sharing experiences from using this process.
If you want to experience how to bring fun to setting & keeping your goals this year, then I invite you to our first session free of charge where my partner, Charlotte Myers will lead us in this process. Join Us!
